Dating your college

Posted by / 24-Aug-2020 13:09

Dating your college

One of the ways this shows up in their behavior is dating — or not: In large, national surveys, only about half as many i Gen high school seniors (vs.

Boomers and Gen X’ers at the same age) say they ever go out on dates.

By that age, most Boomers and Gen X’ers were married, and many had children.

That’s not to say that one way is right and the other isn’t, but they are very different viewpoints on the best way to spend the high-energy years of your life.

Early on, teens (especially girls) learn that sexy pictures get likes.

You’re noticed for how your butt looks in a “sink selfie” (in which a girl sits on a bathroom sink and takes a selfie over her shoulder Kim Kardashian style), not for your sparkling personality or your kindness.

At the end of the day, your 20s are the years where YOU DO YOU.

“It’s very rare you will ever find someone who really likes you for who you are — for yourself, your originality… Rarely, if ever, do you find someone who really cares.” There’s another reason i Gen’ers are uncertain about relationships: you might get hurt, and you might find yourself dependent on someone else—reasons that intertwine with i Gen’s individualism and focus on safety.

“It’s way too early,” says Ivan, 20, when I ask him if most people in their early twenties are ready for a committed relationship such as living together or getting married.

“We are still young and learning about our lives, having fun and enjoying our freedom. We will often just leave our partner because we are too young to commit.” In general, relationships conflict with the individualistic notion that “you don’t need someone else to make you happy — you should make yourself happy.” That is the message i Gen’ers grew up hearing, the received wisdom whispered in their ears by the cultural milieu.

“There’s this idea now that identity is built independent of relationships, not within them,” says the psychologist Leslie Bell.

“So only once you’re ‘complete’ as an adult can you be in a relationship.” Twenty-year-old Georgia college student James feels that way.

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In i Gen’ers’ view, they have lots of things to do on their own first, and relationships could keep them from doing them.

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