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He doesn't make me do all the cooking/cleaning/laundry stuff. He understands that I, as an individualistic American, need to express myself through fashion and art.And that I as woman also need to be successful in my career/life. I was concerned that all of the non-Japanese girls would feel supressed under Japanese society's "rules," but for the most part people were good.As one anonymous respondent put it: It takes a lot of courage for a Japanese man to talk to a woman, let alone a foreign woman who might not speak Japanese, who they might not have anything to say to, who they could easily be blown off by…If you're a foreign girl you just have to make the first move.Work I found that his work was very important to him; it was often put first. There were other couples where the girl talks about how she hardly saw their boyfriend because he was working 12 hours a day, going to work-required nomikais , and things like that. There have been a couple of instances where I was hanging out with friends…
I think a Japanese girl may not be willing to say anything about what they want and what they need (or maybe they just want different things), but a Western girl is more likely to bring up issues like this and speak her mind.Some guys eventually cave and let the girl pay for some things, though if you're just getting started expect this to be an issue should you insist on paying for things.I'd just enjoy the free meals while you can before they start to expect you to cook free meals for them all the time.The societal pressures just aren't as present when you're away from said society.It's also really difficult for (most) Japanese guys to get up the confidence to ask a non-Japanese girl out (or any girl out, a lot of times) on a date.
But, when the roles are reversed and you're a non-Japanese girl dating a Japanese guy, expect some bigger surprises along the way. He worked as a kitchen-hand, but wasn't that interested in making a career out of it. - Emma There were stories of people going on a date, the guy getting a call from work, and him saying he had to go to work without any explanation, because why would he need to give you an explanation, right?