Dating a guy with low self confidence
Their dads were working or weren’t around, or maybe both parents were generally absent.According to the National Fatherhood Initiative, research shows that 24 million American children (34 percent) live absent their biological father and that kids who are living with their married, biological (or adoptive) parents are less likely to be poor, to use drugs, to experience educational, health, emotional and behavioral problems.On the surface, it all looks great: confidence abounds and others notice it. The reality is that many men are not self-confident inside of themselves, and are busy upholding that facade to friends, coworkers or their wife or girlfriend.Men in my practice talk about how others would see struggle, turmoil and insecurity if they were to look a little closer.It tells us we’re not worthy, we lack confidence, we’re weak or we’re simply not mastering our lives.As a psychotherapist in private practice in Phoenix, I specialize in working with men, and the issue of healthy self-confidence attaches onto most other issues men seek counseling for. We know how we “should” be, and it seems everyone’s got an idea of what it means to be self-confident. Our head is swimming with millions of other people’s messages all clamoring for mental airtime, and it’s quite distracting when we need to be trying to tune into our own inner knowing instead.
Try challenging the messages you are exposed to, because they’re probably not going to give you the self-confidence you’re looking for.You probably won’t get laid if you listen to the Old Spice guy.Self-confidence cannot be bought, no matter how much we convince ourselves that money, status and owning things have something to do with it.One man confessed that he can only hold that facade up for so long, that image that tells others “everything’s fine and that I’ve got it all under control.” But it’s often the emotions that take control of the men on the inside, not the other way around.Many guys become slaves to our negative emotions, and end up designing our lives based on that fear and insecurity.
Buying things to stave off the feelings of low-self worth and fear, in the spirit of feeling better about ourselves, is a temporary fix to achieve higher self-confidence.