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We all go through intense communication training for years; it’s called childhood.
() And it’s hard to un-wire 18 years of being shown how to talk and listen to others in family situations.
Original Photo by Leland Francisco Marriage is like rolling Play-Doh, the more two different colors are meshed together the harder it becomes to distinguish one from another.
In marriage you begin to rub off on each other, subtly taking on traits and characteristics of the other.
I struggle being in a job, friendship, situations, etc.
where I feel like I’m having to pretend to be someone else. How this plays out in my life, especially in the aspect of career, is that I struggle doing work I don’t believe in and isn’t aligned with who I am.
Your petals might be beautiful, but if you don’t have any nectar then the bees are just going to fly away. It can prop up an intimacy that has no foundation to sustain it.
Or are they challenging you to become a better, authentic you?We all have values that direct us and help us make decisions – problem is most of us have never articulated what those values are.And if you don’t know your values, how can you expect your partner to have a clue?Sure we’re not our parents and we can work to change our communication habits.However, for many of us our fallback communication plan will be the one our parents laid out for us.
Not all values are the same and sometimes you can have two very good people with very good values, but those values can feel at war with each other.